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| I am not saying orcs in chariots are on their way, but orcs in chariots are on their way... |
An old friend
It turned out to be Drett. A fifth friend who left the group a few years ago to study law in Ubersreik. The entire village of Tallerhof was paying for his tuition. Drett returned a day earlier to start an internship at Schleusselschloss. All this to advance his career. One day Drett was planning on becoming a judge.
Dwarven beer
The group decided to steal a case of good beer from the kitchen first and travel back to Tallerhof second. They had a long conversation with Pansie and quickly learned that there was some topnotch Dwarven beer, straight from Karak Azgaraz, in a case in the kitchen. The halfling cook got so excited talking about beer, he left for the storerooms. Micky quickly located and stole the case of Dwarven beer from the kitchen. Right after Micky left, Pansie returned holding leather flasks full of beer. "On the road, you require a feast to keep your spirits up!"
Grand theft horse
Micky arrived at the stables. Kylael had told him to 'saddle his horse'. Arriving at the stables, the halfling realized that het had no idea which horse was Kylael's, let alone how to saddle a horse. Micky decided to just try a random one. As het was fooling around with straps, belts and blankets a voice behind him said: "What's all this then?" A fat castle guard had approached unseen. While Micky was searching for words the guard said: "That's not how to saddle a horse, it works like this...Imagine Erik riding off on a badly saddled horse...bla bla bla" The guard saddled four horses and a light warhorse belonging to the baron's son Erik. With this job completed, he left the stables to continue his patrol.
Warhorses bite!
The group rode off on their stolen horses (the stolen case of beer loaded in stolen saddlebags by the guard). Exiting the castle was effortless as the gates where open and unguarded. Effortless? Well not quite, no one in the group had ever ridden a horse before. Soon not a single backside was left unbruised. Micky, riding a light warhorse, was hardest hit. He also narrowly avoided getting his fingers bitten off by the aggressive beast.
Refugees
Halfway to Tallerhof the group met refugees. The scope of trouble was very clearly illustrated by the fact that father Siegfried and mayor Smokkel where diligently working together (for the first time in their lives) to lead their people to the safety of the castle. They told the group disaster had struck, the town was attacked while the baron was passing through. It was unclear if anyone else survived, they ran away with the fighting still going on behind them. Micky spotted his parents in the group, Drett was nervous as his weren't around.
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| Snotlings, not the worst enemies to face, but definitely the lousiest sources of loot in the Old World. |
Finally the group arrived at a battlefield just outside Tallerhof. Half-stripped corpses of soldiers, orcs and goblins littered the field. Snotlings walked through the remains, picking the last of the loot they could find. A pole was erected at the center of the battlefield and the naked body of the baron was tied to it, riddled with a dozen arrows.
Andreas von Averbach
Kylael and Gorgor started a rather long and pointless battle against random Snotlings. They managed to get possession of a purse containing an old sock and a few bitten off fingers. Meanwhile the rest of the group found a heavily wounded, but breathing, Andreas von Averbach hidden between the corpses. After an advanced demonstration off how not to treat injured people (Barnard started chanting last rites and Drett tried to sell the gasping Andreas on the idea of formulating a new will) Kylael stabilized the noble by dressing his wounds.
Ambush
Andreas told the group that the baron had marched his army through the village. While crossing between the houses they had been ambushed by goblin spider riders hidden on the rooftops. Even under attack from all sides, the baron still managed to form a line of battle. At that point a large group of Orcs riding war boars had ridden into the village, using torches to set buildings alight. Between the fire, smoke and constant cavalry charges the baron retreated his men out of the burning village. As the entered the open fields a humongous Arachnarok spider appeared from the forest. Surrounded, the baron's army was cut down. Andreas had formed a small group of soldiers into a rearguard, allowing the fleeing civilians a chance to escape.
Activities in Tallerhof
Scouting the battlefield, the group found a trail most likely used to take captives into the spider forest. Another set of boar tracks and droppings led to the bridge and down the road to Karak Azgaraz. Inside the burning village Gorgor lifted a dead horse from a cellar entrance by clever means of a pulley system. Drett's parents climbed out of the cellar, coughing but alive. Barnard entered the temple of Shallya and discovered a small statue of the goddess had miraculously survived the orc raid. Concluding their business, the group returned to Schluesselschloss.
Lonely scout
One member of the tream stayed behind. Kylael wanted to scout the area and determine the number of enemies around. He hid in a nearby ditch and waited for nightfall.
Captain Pansie
Using a litter to transport Andreas, the rest of the group returned to Schluesselschloss with the survivors from Tallerhof. Arriving at the castle they found the gate shut and the drawbridge raised. A voice from the battlements identified itself as belonging to 'captain Pansie'. He had decided to close the castle to keep everyone safe. It took quite a long and eloquent speech by Drett to convince the halfling that the group should have access to the castle. Inside they where reunited with the other Tallerhof survivors.
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| I did not have a picture of boar boyz handy, so these'll have to suffice. |
In the meantime Kylael was getting rather lonely is his ditch. As night fell a group of about thirty orc boar boys returned from the direction of Karak Azgaraz towards Tallerhof. The orcs set up camp near the battlefield and started hacking some corpses up to fill their cooking pots. Kylael managed to get spotted whilst spying on the Orcs. Keeping low he ran, hearing the Orc boar boys closing in behind him. With more luck then he truly deserved, Kylael chanced upon a smuggling hatch hidden in the ditch. He hid in the space behind it and waited for the Orcs to leave.
Incompetence
Back in the castle the group quickly discovered the castle guards had not been taken into battle for good reason. The entire Schluesselschloss garrison consisted of fat, unmotivated guards (all strict adherents to the Pansie diet). For some reason seneschal Reinhart had promoted Pansie to captain of the guard. The only person with any serious military experience was the weapon master, sergeant Martin. He was currently in the dungeon as a punishment for insubordination. Given the competence of the guards, the group decided to personally keep watch at the gates in case Kylael needed to enter.
Forgeries
Kylael, almost unrecognizable beneath layers of mud, appeared the next morning. He reported the presence of orcs at Tallerhof. After that the group spent some time talking to sergeant Martin. The latter refused to escape even though his cell door was unlocked. He had given his word as sergeant to stay put. The rest of the castle turned out to be a disorganized mess. Micky wanted to steal from the baron's study but lost his way. Luckily two friendly guards showed him where to go and unlocked the study for him. Inside Micky stole some paper, sealing wax and a letter with the baron's signature. Gorgor, arriving in the study, discovered that the painting behind the baron's desk was a cheap rag that obviously hung in place of a different painting. The gold on the chandeliers turned out to be painted on. A closer inspection of the big necklace Pansie stole earlier revealed that this too was a fake piece of jewelry.
Judicial practices
Drett had gained an audience with Reinhart and tried to discuss the release of Martin. Pansie was summoned to give an accounting of himself, but the Seneschal was not swayed by Drett's arguments. On the other hand forged exit papers turned out to be unnecessary, making all Micky's thefts superfluous. By use of clever oratory and applying the law, Drett neatly argued Reinhart out of holding the barge De Vreugde any longer.
Get out of here!
The group had had its fill of the disinterested seneschal, the incompetent captain and the unfit guards. In short, they where done with Schluesselschloss. And that is before mentioning the local nobility (the baroness was suspiciously passionate about caring for Andreas, Erik was playing soldier and Matthaus was reading about something useless in the library). In exchange for exit papers captain Alide of De Vreugde gave the group passage to Ubersreik. The group even convinced her to take along the refugees from Tallerhof. Satisfied, Kylael snuck into the hold for a nap. Inside he found a stowaway. Sensing trouble, the High Elf Cenoc had snuck on board but going by his attitude Kylael was the one sneaking onto Cenoc's vessel.
Chains, trolls and trouble
Sailing on a barge full of coffee and wine, carrying about sixty refugees on deck and one stowaway in the hold, the group started off towards Ubersreik. About thirty minutes into their journey downstream they saw another barge ahead. It was stuck on a huge rusty chain that spanned the river Teufel. On board they saw the shapes of goblins hacking at the crew. From the reeds alongside the river the shapes of several river trolls loomed. Could they escape with De Vreugde? We'll have to wait until next time to find out...
GM's perspective
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| Desperate as I am for filler images, I've resorted to using a random picture of a rather old boardgame I played a while back. |
That was another packed session, this time very light on combat (killing Snotlings at range is not a great feat). The player's where very meticulous going through the village looking for survivors and scouting orcs at night. Kylael almost got murdered by the Orcs, having to spend fortune and corruption just to find a hiding place. It was a lot of fun to hear them discuss options ranging from fleeing to Karak Azgaraz, following the trail of the captives (back into spider forest? There's an Arachnarok there!) and finally setting on Schluesselschloss as their first stop off point (just as I had hoped).
Adding a new character to the group
At the start of the evening I had to introduce a new character as we where joined by a fifth player. In my experience the trick to adding new players is to think of something reasonably plausible that justifies the character 'falling out the sky' and joining in on the fun. Preferably with a few hooks to tie them to the rest of the group. I once took this dropping in quite literally, having a paladin fall through an openend manhole cover into the sewer where the rest of the party was mucking about. Having a new player join in immediately and at the start of the evening makes the addition smooth, minimizing interruption to the narrative flow.
When silly misadventures turn grim...
A lot of fun in this session came from the misadventures inside Schluesselschloss. I skipped over a lot of mucking about to keep the text within something resembling a sane length (yes, probably too wordy already). Most of the general incompetence and ridiculous ease of doing things might look rather silly right now. In time it will pave the way to make a grim setting even grimmer. Sure, the players laughed it up as a guard helped them steal a warhorse and a case of beer. They smiled as the odd cook kept giving them free (and very expensive) food and drink. To top it off they had the easiest time ever stealing from the baron.
Not laughing now, are you?
What they don't know is that (barring miraculous roleplaying) they will never get to Ubersreik. After the next session they will be back in Schluesselschloss. But this time their lives will depend on guards incapable of guarding their boss's office (or running for more than a minute at a time). The foodstores will have been thoroughly emptied out by a halfling cook's obsession with feasting. The three nobles in charge are all too eccentric to actually organize a castle's defense (or hold up a reasonable conversation). And the seneschal? Well, we'll leave him for later...
Chapter one almost completed
If all goes according to plan, the group will either start working on better defenses, try and make for Bretonnia or seek shelter in Karak Azgaraz. All these options have been planned for as they slowly inch their way towards chapter two of Trouble in Teufeltal. There is a lot of hard work ahead for them.
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